I am not ready to be old.

And by old I mean like 38 years old .

Seriously getting old seems so frigging scary, I am  at the age of almost 38! O how that makes me cringe to say that.

That means I am getting closer to 40 that makes me want to cry but this is not the point of my story.

The point is as a single mom I am running  out of time, like for my body to still be intact, I mean things are going to start drooping and body parts will  get saggy and then pretty soon I will end looking like the damn big marshmallow guy off of Ghostbusters do you remember him? Was he a ghost?? Will  you get the point.

Then my face will get a bunch of wrinkles as if my face isn't horrid enough I mean I am in my mid 30's and I still have acne I mean why?? And then what if god forbid I start wearing a bunch of make-up to try to make my face look better but I just end up looking like a clown.

And let's not even bother with my hair because to my horror as I was pleasantly looking in the mirror....Wait please tell me who the fuck actually looks in the mirror and has the  beautiful birds from Snow White singing around them and thinks damn I am so hot, because first  of all I hate you and second please teach me your ways. But as I was saying I tried to remain calm and looked in the mirror and noticed pretty white yes WHITE HAIR no not grey just white and I wanted to cry.

And did I mention I am pretty sure my hair is thinning?? Will isn't this a welcome to your almost 38 which should really just be, just kidding we speed you up to  40.

Honestly I can't catch a break and before you all think to yourself will isn't she superficial she should just be glad she is healthy and alive.

Trust me I am. I'm just saying that It would be nice to know how it feels to be pretty when I was a teen I was awkward shy and had a lot of acne I got bullied constantly and no I am not looking for sympathy or anyone to be like O but  you are pretty, Because at some point in your life you just need to get over it and move on.

I can already see my online ad now single mom mid's  30's everything still intact at the moment has beautiful reddish-brownish white hair?? looks like she is trapped in 12 yr old body has all her shit together, but recently unemployed but other then that my shit is together and hey I feel like I look like shit so  if your available holler at me . Man that is the ad of winners.

I can already imaging all the emails  from the unemployed men who live at home with mommy and let's not forget the creepy perverts  .

I am seriously not ready to grow old in fact half the time I don't even act like a grown up. I don't even know how to speak grow up I sound somewhere between a preteen trying way to hard to fit in and a 20 something who desperately just need attention. BUT OMG ...ha just kidding you guys just making sure your all  still awake and paying attention.

I am  going to be the most awkward old person ever but one awesome grandma. But seriously I'm  going to have like wired colored hair, still be doing Zumba and shaking my saggy ass, will let's be honest I am pretty flat butted as it is so basically I will be shaking whatever is left. still using sarcasm as my weapon of deconstruction and probably having a truck driver mouth.

As for my approaching birthday of 38 closer to 40 I refuse to act old it is just not in my way of life hell I don't even act my age now. I walk into a nightclub and I am like I am home I love to dance and to be honest I can usually out dance all the 21yr olds  not bragging it's just a fact and before you all get your panties in a wedge no I do not go out all time and to be honest I am never drunk so I think it is OK for moms to go out and have fun. Also I fangirl with my daughter way to much we pretty much like the same music so we listen to the same stuff and I am not ashamed to say I am a mama mahomie that is a term  for a mom who also likes Austin mahone .

I don't want to look at growing old as scary even though it really does scare me. I am not going to let it change me. and  I suppose I will just have to hope my body does not give out on me and that things don't start sagging on me just yet...and as for white hair will I could probably make it a trend right?!

So in my best fangirl voice I am ready for another birthday sort of come and get me 38 but you have been warned I am going to kick your ass because I refuse to grow old quietly.



How do I not screw up my kid by dating again?

So here is the thing I would really like to start dating but I am worried about how Laylaboo

Will handle this, I mean how the hell do you explain to a 8yr old that your dating?

Do I tell her casually as we eat dinner O by the way honey I am going out tonight with

A really nice guy . Or honey while I was on my dating site I met someone and were going out.

Or should I just be like mommy needs to do adult things too....Um this just sounds gross even to

Me. I suppose I could just have said guy show up and introduced  Laylaboo and then say this

Is mommy's date I will be back soon, But that seems A Bit cruel and wired.

Well how am I suppose to do this there is no handbook that tells me how not to scar my child

By dating again I could be wrong there just might be. Maybe there is a set of rules that I am

Suppose to follow. It just seems like such a odd subject to bring up not that I haven't tired

Yesterday I thought hey this is a good time to bring up why it's OK if mommy dates clearly I

Wish someone would of stopped me here is how that conversation went, Me so Laylaboo

You know how we talked about How sometimes mommy's get lonely and need to have

Adult friends around who are sometimes guys? Laylaboo stare at me with her annoyed express

And Say's" yes Mom why are you acting so wired? I smile nervously will I was just wondering

What you would think of me dating? Would you be OK with that?  Laylaboo gives me her best

Smile but as I know this smile is the nervous one she has when something bothers her.

She rolls her eyes at me and Say's mommy this conversation is really making me feel gross and

Aren't you kinda old to be dating? Anyway I don't need a new daddy I already have one.

Yep this conversation was going in the wrong direction.

I tried to reassure Laylaboo that I was not looking for a new daddy for her and that I was just

Wanting to go out get out of the house. I could not be a single mom forever.

Will apparently This did not sit well with Laylaboo who got up so quick that you would of

Thought she had ants in her pants. She was fuming she looked right at me and said "and what

Is so wrong with being single mom?? And if you start dating who will take care of me and be

There for me? I tried really hard to understand where she was coming from but also thought to

Myself really kid I have been single since you were 4 do  you want me to be a old sad single lady

With cats? I was about to explain myself when I heard Laylaboos door slam. she may be only 8

But she had the part of angry drama teen down to a 10. I went to knock on her door to try and

Talk to her and make her understand but then I thought Nah  let her cool down.

As I sat starting at my computer screen I started over thinking ,Did I go about the

Dating topic  the right way? Should I wait until she is older? Am I being selfish? what if she

Started acting out to get my attention? Why did this all have to be so hard? Well it wasn't as if

I hated being a single mom I don't mind it but no one wants to be alone I think I have just

Quoted a nickleback song. But seriously when Laylaboo becomes a teen and I am sitting alone

At home maybe it will be to late to date or what if she leaves home then what Am I suppose to do

Sit at home feeling sorry for myself? Nope this could not happen I will not be a crazy old cat

Lady and  the way things were going lately this could very will be my future. Seriously The only

Action I have been getting is when I forget my cell is in my pocket and I have it on vibrate other

Than that I don't think my overly sexual dreams are coming true anytime soon Dammit!

Now I am not saying I am trying to date just so I can have a lot of sex let's make that clear but

Come on I need a life a little excitement something worth getting up in the morning for.

So I could just lie to Laylaboo keep it from her that I am dating or I could just tell her how it

Was going to be. well both ways may have her in therapy but god I hope not.

I knock on her door and get the angry yell of go away,  silly child you know I will not go away.

Nope I just keep knocking.  Finally grouchy 8yr old opens door. Gives me stink eye and buries

 head under pillows,  I just start talking anyway, Look I know you don't want me to date

I know you think that I am going to forgot about you or change but I am not. You will always

Be the most important person in my life no one can change that. Besides do you want me to

Turn into a scary old lady who has a bunch of cats and then I go crazy and start talking to

Myself and I wear blue eye shadow and horrible red lipstick all over my mouth and teeth is that

What you want me to become? Laylaboo peeks out from under her pillow and I see a smirk on her

Face. She lifts her head "Mommy seriously don't you think you are being a little dramatic?

OK then Austin Mahone comes to ask you out and I say NO Laylaboo I wont allow you to date

Him because you wont love me anymore or pay attention to me! What would you do? Laylaboo

Laughs and groans "Mommy first of all I am 8 so that would be gross but If I was older I

Would say sorry mommy but I am not about to miss this chance and besides I will always be

There for you no matter what no guy is going to chance that. She sighs OK mommy I get it

I guess you dating would be OK just wired .I am just worried about you I don't want you to

Get some wiredo. I smile well  I promise you I will be very careful who I pick to go out with

And I will  always let you know what is going on. Laylaboo sits up on her bed and hugs me.

So far I have not been on any dates way to me creepers have been asking me but I am hoping to

Find someone nice and I hope Laylaboo  acts OK when I go out but I am still worried

About how she will really react I just hope she doesn't turn into problem child anyone

Else remember that movie that child was awful! Movie was funny but don't need that in real 

Life. Just as I am finishing  this thought Laylaboo calls my attention I look over at her and

She is on the computer on my profile O god  I have left my dating profile open just great!

Laylaboo smiles hey mom this guy's cute and look at his car! Mom hurry ask him out before

Other girls do he is definitely a catch.  Will maybe I wont have to worry about a problem child

Just have to worry about my 8yr old trying to set me up. This should be interesting.

So have any of you online dated and if so did you have kids you had to explain it to?

How did that go? I look forward to all comments and feedback. I really appreciate everyone

Takes the time to read my blog! Thank you.






 

What my younger single self would like to say to single mommy me......new years resolutions 2014.

• 1. Get your hair out of the damn pony tail you look good with your hair down. And while were

 on the subject of hair would it kill you to buy a box of hair color and color your hair!

2. Quite being broke your not in your 20's you are 37 that means time to figure out how to save

Money and get your shit together!

3.Quite complaining about life and Do something about it make a change, do what scares you as Nike

Says JUST DO!!!!!!!!!

4.Stop worrying about the way you look and just be glad your alive, Stop starting in the mirror

Picking yourself apart and find what is awesome about yourself. No one is perfect not even a

Victoria secret model it may not look it but even they have flaws for reals!!!!

5. This goes with 4, but seriously quite using your daughter's profile pic and put a freaking profile pic

Already if people don't like the way you look screw them ....


6. While twitter, Face book, and pinterest and blogging are awesome they do not need to control your

Life and should not be your weekend fun GET A LIFE!!!!

7.Weekends are fun and relaxing but that does not mean every weekend sit around in your pj's

Watching red box movies do you really wanna be a old crazy cat lady??? Seriously this is where your
headed!!!

8.Find a cute guy anywhere dammit and go on date.....there are cute boys everywhere really....

9.take off your stupid jackets you wear I know you are always cold but how are you suppose to show

Off your cute clothes if all anyone sees is stupid jacket.

10.Be a better friend hang out with my friends more often keep in touch it is not that hard.

11.Yes we get it you don't mind being a single mommy great for you but that does not mean your life

Needs to resolve around Laylaboo for god sake your 8yr old has more of a social life then you!!

12. While were on the topic of being a single mom your house does not need to be kiddie central you

Have got to get some grow up people at your house please!! Knowing more about 8-9 yr olds life is sad.:(

13.while we know you are border line OCD would you stop cleaning your house let your house be a

Little messy it is OK too much cleaning will make you go crazy there is studies about this and if there

Isn't there should be cleaning should not be the highlight of your life.

14.Instead of getting mad or annoyed that my blog seems to be going nowhere do something about it

Promote it , promote it and make people want to read it in 2014 make it talked about.

15.let go of regrets, anger, and stop thinking you need to be a different person and just be the best

Damn you be loud be heard and be who you were meant to be!

16.stop sleeping life away.. stop wishing you were younger, stop asking what if , stop the negative

Thoughts and most important stop wishing you could do life over and life this life make it count!

17. Last thought smile more, have fun, stop stressing and werk 2014 like a bitch.


2014 READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GOING TO TRY AND CHANNEL MY

INNER SINGLE GIRL JENN AND TURNT UP 2014..... AND I PROMISE I AM

WORKING ON A PROFILE PIC. MUCH LOVE AND APPRECIATION TO EVERYONE WHO

READS WHAT I WRITE , CAN RELATE TO WHAT I SAY, OR JUST REALLY NEEDS A

LAUGH. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING MY BLOG IT MEANS A LOT.

SEE YOU IN 2014.

The hassel of christmas shopping when your a single mom.

Alright stop rolling your eyes and hear me out first please.

I generally love Christmas time but it is damn near impossible for me to shop for Christmas

Gifts with laylaboo in tow, Sometimes she is able to stay with friends and or she is at school

And I get off work early and can go shopping. But usually I have to bring her along which is

Fine just extra work having to be creative. I usually have her stand on the next aisle over and

wait while I pick out a gift, but even then it becomes a matter of which monster high  doll was

It she wanted? Does she really need this ? As she is getting older she plays less

And does more crafts so it makes shopping a little more hard and having to be creative.

You should see the looks I get when I throw my jacket and whatever else I can find over

The stuff I have in my cart. You would think I was shoplifting.. But come on what else am I

going to do so Laylaboo doesn't see her stuff. I almost died when on one aisle I was covering

The monster high dolls up with my coat and making sure Laylaboo wouldn't figure out what

They were when this lady came up to me and said Honey crime is a life for no one you wont

Get very fair shoplifting . And besides those dolls are no gift any child should be getting there from the devil.

 I smiled my best smile and said I realize that but these damn

Monster High dolls they keep telling me to come back here and please take them home

But sometimes I just don't have the money but they scare me and say please bring us home with

You so I just don't know what to do ? They drive me crazy!! You understand don't you? The

Look of pure horror on her face was so hilarious she just stood there with her mouth wide open

Then she shook her head and said Honey I really Hope you get help It's people like you who

Make this world unsafe. I'll show her unsafe I wish I could of took a monster high doll out of

The box and made It "say please come back we really want to be your friend". lol....The look

On her face I bet would have been priceless. I can't stand nosy people.

Anyway I called Laylaboo over and we headed to the  register I usually make her go

Somewhere close enough I can keep a eye on her but not where she can see what I am

Buying. This particular shopping trip I was At my favorite store target so I just had her

Go to the dollar  section and wait for me. I patiently waited as the cashier rang me up and

Kinda panicked as I watched my total go up but was relived when all the 5.00 target cards I

Saved up all year only left me paying 5.00 bucks in cash yeah! Now It was time for me to go on

the hunt for  the last two must  have Christmas gifts for laylaboo was a mp3 player and Austin 

Mahone anything. The problem with this was that number 1. Austin Mahone was a up and

coming singer which meant he was getting really popular but were not talking popular like

Justin Bieber you know what I mean you mention his name and the fan girls start crying and

Hyperventilating . You go in any store you find Jb. stuff you go looking for Austin mahone and

Have to do some searching,I did find some stuff in Claire's but everything was overpriced and

I also found some stuff on amazon but I am still on the hunt for more things.

She needed a Ipod. Not a mp3 player ,She didn't even know what the difference was she just

 wanted a Ipod Because her friends had one. also a  problem I needed  to save up money to 

Download all the songs she would ask for. I also needed to find one in my budget and not

 A ghetto looking one either, Or a pink one she really despise the color pink.

Do you know How many pink ones I have come across??? her favorite color is green  I can find

Pink and red and blue but no green. so frustrating. I have been to many stores and found many

mp3 players they are either to expensive , screen to small, no screen at all, or they are brands

That I have never heard of and know nothing about.

 . On to problem #2. Austin mahone is a up and coming

Singer so this means that yes he is popular but we are not talking Justin bieber popular...

You know total chaos and you say his name and a thousand fan girls start crying and

Hyperventilating . I searched high and low seriously...I manage to find some things at Claire's

Can you say overpriced. I found some stuff on amazon...I am still searching.

And never go into to a best buy when there is only immature snarky zit face teenager boys

Working and try and ask if they have any Austin Mahone stuff. You will only get snarky

Dumb ass comments some of which may be my Favorite one today "Aren't you kinda old to be

Listen to him?". To which I replied it's for my daughter but even if it was for me who the hell

Are you to assume how old I am and to imply I can't listen to someone because there a teen?

Snarky teenager employee decided it was best to have someone help me before I chewed him up and spit

Him back out. Even better Dumb Ass number #2 who had no idea who I was talking about.

He just keep saying is he  like a second coming of Justin Bieber? I smirked . Um yeah I guess you could say that.

 All I want to know is if you guys have anything Austin Mahone! Dumb ass #2

Just stands there I felt like I needed to  start belting out a Austin mahone

Song or doing a dance from his video Which I am not ashamed to say that I do know all of his

Songs I am mom Fan so what. Anyway I just left I could not take it anymore.

My  mp3 shopping was even more horrifying. After I told laylaboo to wait a aisle over from the

Mp3 players I asked bored teen boy at Toys R us if he could help me out. I whispered what I was

Looking for so Laylaboo wouldn't hear. and asked his opinion on them since I had really no 

Idea what I was looking for or really much about mp3 players.  I let him know it was for a

 

8yr old So I didn't want anything to expensive just simple but not cheap either.

He was really helpful maybe to helpful because apparently I had given off the vibe that as a

Single mom I was needing to be seduced. He was to close to me and really needed to stop

Touching my arm.  He made wired jokes and asked me what kind of music I was into and did

I know that I could buy a shower proof protector for the mp3 player so I could dance in the

Shower.....Ummm Yeah I was making that face too.....ewwee just retyping it makes me sick.

I did a horrified face and said thanks and found laylaboo and left fast O' and sanitized my arm.

I Went to what felt like a thousand stores searching just for  a simple mp3 player.

It should not be this hard to find one I don't think? I am still searching with only 9 days

Left until Christmas. And If one more sales person tells me I should just buy a Ipod

 I am going to scream. I know a Ipod is better but they are way expensive and she is 8.

She does not get one if I don't have one..lol.

I knew Laylaboo was probably getting really tired and I still had to take her to the mall She

Wanted to buy me a Christmas gift she had only 8.00 But wanted to get me something really

Nice The problem with her wanting to Christmas shop  for me was that 1. she never had much

Money. and 2.as hard as she tried to hide it I always saw what she was getting because I couldn't

Let her go off by herself to far. So this year I took her to the mall. She picked Victoria secret

Which I love but we all know can be expensive. I gave her 20.00 to help her out and let Laylaboo

Know the stuff I liked the scents I preferred and so on . I was going to just look around while

She got my gift But she really wanted to be a big girl and do it herself . So I noticed there was

A young girl just standing around so I explained to her that Laylaboo was Christmas shopping

For me and didn't want me to see and could she helped her out while I waited outside the store.

You should of seen the look on the girls face. You would of thought I said something horrible

She Looked at me and said are you serious? I smiled back and said yes, she is a customer isn't

That your job to assist her? She still just stood there. I got right in her face I am not asking you

To babysit her I am asking you to help her pick me something out so I don't see it , Is that to

Much to ask of you? I looked around the store that was pretty empty and said you don't seem to be,

Busy so could you just do a nice thing and help her out . The sales girl gave me a half smile and

said fine. I waited outside the doors for a few minutes. Laylaboo came bouncing out of the store

With a big pink box and proudly said I spent 28.00!! The Sales lady said why not spoil your

Mommy. Well played Victoria secret sales girl.. But I still left behind a comment card that

Awaits your boss so we are even:)

I guess  I cannot complain to much I don't have to buy any other presents then Laylaboos I

Do stress over money but try to save as much as possible to make ends meet. It is just the stress

Of having to figure out ways to buy presents with her around and the snarky sales people

And other peoples comments that irk me . I hate when people say get a babysitter then go

Shopping that would mean I have to save up money for the babysitter and who knows how long

I would be gone and how much I would have to pay. I always manage to figure it out every year.

Would Life be easier if I wasn't a single Mom of course it would . But in the end being a single

Mom does not define me as a person I t just makes me stronger and able to handle tough

Situations and even snarky sales people.

Besides If I wasn't a single mom I wouldn't have awesome adventures and even better blogs to

Blog about and I especially wouldn't have Snarky employees to make there life fun and regret

That they came to work that day, Just kidding....um maybe a little.
 


 

Welcome you have now entered online dating as a single mom.

First let me start of by saying  I have no problem being single It is not so bad I do what I want

when I want and in general life is OK ,not as exciting as I would like it to be but I get by.

On the other hand I wouldn't mind having someone else around to talk to and share stuff

with. It would be nice.

I was just talking about the subject of dating and online dating websites today with my friend

We were at the very sexy pick-up place know as Chuck e cheese

where all the sexy single guys are at..lol

No seriously laylaboo and her bestie wanted to go so we met up there.

But anyway we were talking about how sucky the sites are and how hard it is to be a single

Mom and try to date again.

I mean lately the only action I have been getting is very scary looks from high school boys

Whom look at me like a MILF which is not happening ever! and the 18 and over crowd who

flirt with me which is flattering until they ask me which high school I graduated from  um

Really?? do I look that young  now I'm concerned.  I mean is it to much to ask to find a

Good man ? apparently now days it is as I learned the hard way.

I decide to make a profile on a dating site called ZOOSK'S corny name I know but I gave it a

try. Let me start off by saying that I really thought it was going to be easier to fill out a 

profile first I had to make a user name sounds easy right? wrong. it had to grab your attention

But not be anything to slutty, sexy, suggestive or babyish. I had no idea what I was doing

I finally settled on a name. then I had to answer dumb questions and by dumb I mean

5TH grade style questions if you were a color you would be what color and why? Um was the

Color I was picking really going to give a guy insight into who I was? OK whatever I put purple

And said because it commands attention O shit now I sound bossy and into to myself super .

Whatever I scan to the next question and burst out laughing It says" if you  were invisible for

The day what would you do ?

I type I would spy on my friends and famous people to see what they

Really do and maybe scare some people who have not been nice to me. I look over my question

Well I don't know what a guy is suppose to find out about me with that unless he would assume

I am nosy and a little mean.  but of course the last question was really how a guy was going to

figure out if he wanted to date you. The question was if the last movie you watched was to be

What you had to relive would you be screwed? Well that depends because the last movie I

Watched was 21and over so apparently I would have one hell of a night and a lot of fun so nah

I'm good. OK so obviously this question would let a guy know what kind of movies your into

The rest of the profile was simple stuff  my name ,age, things interesting about me, my likes and

Dislikes and so on. but then came that one part that I really hated my opening line the big

Headline that either gets guys to stop and read your profile or makes them turn and run.

I sat staring blankly at the computer screen for hours just trying to come up with something

I didn't want to put  anything suggesting I was a single mom. Nothing to sexy, I needed that

Something that made you stop and say wow that is a cool chick. maybe a quote? a line from a

Movie? A saying? or go mysterious and put a one liner that makes you wonder?

 I decide to go with save the flowers all I need is you outside my window with a

Boom box and my favorite song blaring. OK a bit cheesy? yeah I know but I am the biggest 80's

Teen movie freak no lie!! so why not envision a moment like that.

Then came the worst person ever the profile picture And for those of you who have already

Noticed I do not like profile pics that is why I do not have one on here either.  It's not like I

Think I am hideous or anything but I certainly don't think I am all that and besides I really

Don't like taking pictures. I hate it. I knew I had to post a picture of myself so I had laylaboo

Take a photo of me I was not happy about it but I am smiling and look OK so I will just deal

With it. finally I hit enter and just sit in silence and wait hoping someone would find me

Interesting within 15 minutes of sheer terror I had response from old creepy men who had a lot

Of money and would take care of me if I took care of them this made me gag. even worse was

 the hornier young guys who wanted to know if I had naked pictures and if I wanted to sexted.

Hmm I was starting to see that romance and just a simple hi how are you were apparently old fashion?

I kid you not I felt like a porn star must feel when she goes out in public like  a piece of meat

or just that I was only there for sex. It really made me mad. I decide to try elsewhere I had

Many choices there was websites I could pay to browse photos and find love but not my thing,

single parents websites but I really don't want to deal with  other people children I can go to

Work for that. there was Christian dating websites where god brings you together...Hmm

Has god read some of these ads because I think he would not approve. I was  going to

Give up and go the desperate route and post a ad on craigslist but the thought of all the serial

Killers and psychos out there reading my ad put  a stop to that thought.  it was getting late and

I was pretty tired of searching dating websites besides pretty much all the profiles should of

Said just looking for a fast fuck or even better if your a slut I 'm your man. I have gotten some

wired  emails from some guys,I got a email from lationboy66 who seemed innocent enough at

first but then wanted to know if before we met he could get selfies of every inch  of  my body to

Make sure I looked in top shape before we went out on a date. Next please. even better was the

email from sunsets76 who just wanted to clarify how long as a single mom had I gone without

Sex Wow how's that for a charming getting to know you question. O but the one that takes the

cake is urstruly2020 yep he was a real class act he wanted to know when we went on a date if I

would be down to go watch girls mud wrestling and after that we hit  up a 420 foam party.

Will what girl wouldn't want that date dammit!! yeah I told him where he could go.

And as you could imagine I was done by this point and frustrated and really just wishing for a

 cheesy Disney prince charming. I still have my profile up and I have yet to  meet up with any 

guys but I am hopeful I think that there is a decent guy out there. but before I go on a date I

Feel like I should come with a disclaimer and the first rule would be I am not inviting you to

Stay over I have a daughter and I am not about to put her in danger and besides that I am not

A one night stand girl you wanna get it I going to make you work to get it because I have been

Waiting a long time and you need to prove your worth me giving it up to. Second I have a child

to raise so she comes always first then you not the other way around. I don't need you to be a

Father she has one, I don't need you to take care of me I do that all by myself, I don't need your

Money have my own may not be a lot but I somehow manage. I don't need you to assume

Because I am a single mom I am sad and lonely and please please for the love god do not

 assume I need sex and you are the answer to my prayers because 1. they make all kinds

Of cool sex toys now days and really If I was that damn horny and desperate I am pretty sure I

could find a willing guy to have sex with, But since I have morals and class I don't.

Now that we have all that out of the way you can now proceed to ask me on a date.

But back to reality I am actually not ready to date I mean I have not dated in so long I am

Afraid I have forgotten how to even act ,what to do and so on. The whole thought of dating

Really makes me nervous and how the hell do I even answer the question"so tell me about

Yourself? You mean the person I am when I am not being  a single mom? Hmm I honestly

Don't remember her pretty much everything centers around my daughter.


How about the person I was when before my husband cheated? I don't like her very much she

Was a coward and the life was being sucked out of her.

After my husband cheated on me? I like that girl she is kick ass and tougher than she thought.

And what do I say to the dread Question What do you do for fun? Um does birthday parties

And going to chuck e cheese count? O that is really a sad answer I need to work on that.

Great I sucked at answering questions . Man I needed a cheat sheet with me so someone could

Write down clever witty things for me to say. I am a mess and I have not even been on a date

Yet. I am not going to give up I have faith that I will find someone when the time is right.


I just hope it is before I am old and lonely and turn into the crazy dog lady No cats for me!!


So friends have any of you tried online dating? and if your a single mom have you found it is

harder to get back into dating? Have you ever got a crazy email? please feel free to share

With me or just comment. And as always thank you reading blog I appreciate it!!

It gives me hope that someone out there is reading what I blog and cares.























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Stupid Shit people say to single moms.

Well there is just so many stupid things said to me on a daily basis where do I start?

How about with my favorite. Is that your daughter she looks nothing like you.

are you her babysitter/nanny/big sister/ Which I am willing to take as a compliment that I look

younger than I am.....but the stupidest by far has got to be a teacher at the after school program

That I was picking laylaboo up from that actually asked me why I had not signed myself out

When I looked confused at her and was about to say I was there to pick up my child she said all

club members must sign themselves out so we can keep track of everyone.

I almost died the  oldest you could be to go there was 12 was this lady serious she thought I was 12!!!!

I was horrified and so was she after I explained to her I was there to pick up my daughter.

How about the lady at the grocery store who after commenting how beautiful laylaboo was

Asked me how she got her beautiful tan skin. She wanted to know if I tanned her ..because

Yes I tan my 8yr old for no reason. I smiled and  said "that skin would be from her dad who is Mexican.

I thought I was going to have to lift her jaw off the floor. She scuffed at me and muttered some

Racial comment and left. Some people amaze me with there stupidity.

And how many times has anyone else got this comment or am I the only one...I was at a PTA

meeting and a mom came up to me and started chatting me up and wanted to find out about me

When I mentioned I was a single mom she looked at me with concerned eyes and said"

Don't worry honey not all kids raised by single moms turn out bad there are a few that make it in life.
.

Um WTF??? I did not realize that because I was a single mom my kid had no chance

Well there's money I've saved up for her future down the drain....lol.

My favorite single mom comment has to be from a friend of mine who is married and

Her life is pretty comfy. One day we were hanging out and she said "I don't know how you do it

Jenn you must be so lonely and don't you worry your going to be old and die alone,

And you don't have sex OMG you're vagina must be like a dusty old cave, I feel so

Terrible for you but you are stronger than me because I would just die I mean there would be

No point in living". Was this women serious? I have to be honest I was glad she left because I

Had the perfect spot to bury her and her dumb ass ......calm down I have not become so

Lonely and deranged that I would do that.....At least yet.

Another place I run into dumb comments is the gyno of all place, You know when they ask you

the personal questions like have you been sexually active? Me" no I am single". My gyno looks

At me and Say's but people can still be sexually active this is why we ask everyone this question.

 My response yes I know but I am a tired mom with a very overly protective 8yr old there is

 

no way I am getting any booty anytime soon.

My gyno laughs at this comment I am not kidding but whatever can we get on with these

Invasive questions. When is the last time you had sex? Um with someone? with a toy?

In a dream? In my mind ? I mean can you be more specific? This obviously makes my gyno

Annoyed and she moves on to the next question which falls in the stupid category "do you

Need any condoms? birth control? I seriously consider smacking my gyno, but instead I answer

No why would I need those if I just said I am not having sex.

She smiles and Say's always better to be prepared just because your a single mom doesn't

Mean you can't explore your sexuality and be safe.

OK I seriously felt like my gyno was trying to pimp me out. I could not get out of there fast enough.


Have you had the pleasure of meeting the stay at home mommies who think they are way

superior to you? Man they are a frightening bunch. like a pack of wolves just waiting to

rip you apart always in a group pushing a stroller with one hand and balancing a Starbucks

Coffee in the other far to concerned  with how they look and how awful you look and how

selfish you are to work how dare you. And what a opinionated bunch they are too.

Just the other day laylaboo was playing at the park with a girl about her age the mother came

over to me to introduce herself. I kid you not this is how it went down she said her name was

Allie and she was a professional stay at home mom. had been since her little abbey was born.

She looked very serious at me and said I am really good at being a stay at home mom my hubby

Say's it is a wonder I get anything done because I always look so beautiful .

Now you can imagine at this point the look on my face. But I am a mature adult I will not

Let my inner bitch come out and play not quite yet...I smile at her and say" OK Will my name is

JENN and I work at a school and I just naturally looks this way.

She looks me up and down and I can see she is trying to think if I am serious or not.

She laughs nervously and Say's so what does your husband do ?

I smirk because I already know how this scenario is going to play out.

I answer her " I am a single mom I bring in what little income I can.

She frowns at me and Say's O I am sorry to hear that. It must be super hard to be a single mom.

I laugh well I didn't say anyone died I just said I am a single mom and yes it sucks but life

Goes on and you have to tough it out. I have a daughter I have to raise.

She sits down next to me and Say's to me wow you must be like supermom because if I

Had to raise my kids by myself I would crack and besides you don't get any alone time

And you have to worry that you will screw up your kid. Plus then your kids don't have

Nice things or clothes as she eyes my daughter while she Say's this.

I Hear my inner bitch shouting inside of me please let me out ,just let me at her.

I stand up ready to leave she follows. She turns to me and Say's I hope i have not said

anything to make you upset.

I look her up down with her perfectly highlighted hair, designer clothes and nails freshly

Manicured and I wonder how it would be to live life so comfy and yet be so naive and have to

depend on someone else and I really just feel sorry for her.

I smile and say  well allie it was nice to meet you but I have to take my thrift store dressed child

And my poor sad single mom self to real world and be done with all this fake shit.

I waited for a response but she just stood there looking dumb.

I am a super nice person by the way my friends while vouch for me I am just really tired of

People feeling like they can say and make comments without knowing my life and who I am.

In general most people I meet are awesome and I have awesome single mommy friends who are

Raising there kids just fine. I also have married friends and yes even stay at home mom friends 

Who are also awesome. I just think people need to think before they speak and lay off us single

Moms it is a full time job. And a hard one at that. We as single moms need to help one another 

Instead of judging each other and that goes for all moms it is a hard job but we do it because we love our kids.


So tell me what is the stupidest thing that has been said to you as a single mom?
































 

So your a single mom...

That is a fun phrase when people say that to me.

Am I suppose to be wearing a freaking badge that announces I AM A SINGLE MOM!!

There is many different kinds of single mommies.

As I found out when I decide to check out a single moms group, sounded fun enough and harmless ....Boy was I wrong.

I pull up to said building and proceed to walk in with my daughter.

We are quickly greeted by one of the happiest most fast talking women I have ever meet.

She lets me know she is super happy I am here and that is OK to be a single mommy...umm OK.

She then hands me a name tag that looks as though it came out of a freaking Lisa frank sticker  book I am suddenly amused  and a bit horrified, memories of 5th grade flash at me.

I put my name on the name tag and proceed to continue when patty happy Say's to me" would you like a button too dear before you go in".

I look at the button and read it. written in big black letters are the words" I am a super single mommy!!! I try really really hard not to laugh . I even try to be nice .

But all I can think to say is are these for real? The look on patty Happy's face Say's yes bitch they are now wear it. I grab mine and stuff in my pocket even my daughter rolls her eyes.

I drop my daughter off in the supervised play area and head to the room where we  are all meeting , when I walk in the chairs are all in a circle kinda like school when you had to sit and introduce yourself although I am worried I may have walked into a AA meeting.

But no happy patty has entered the room and seems pleased there is so many of us.

I look around at the other moms and smile and think to myself this should be interesting.

patty happy makes us all introduce ourselves and tell a little about ourselves I hate this kinda stuff makes me feel like I am on the first day of school. we all introduce ourselves and some of the moms take way to long to tell about themselves when it is my turn I say,

Hey I am Jenn and does anyone else feel like they should be saying "and I have been a single mommy for 5 /6 years now but it's OK I am recovering , dead silence and horrified stares is all I get.

Jeez tough crowd,,,, Miss patty happy finally compose herself and stands up and Say's well that was interesting Jenn did you have anymore sarcasm for us or did you get it all out of you?

I looked miss perfect pants in the eyes and said not sure yet I have to see what other ridiculousness we have going on tonight and then I will let you know.

Yep I was a crowd pleaser! any way we all sat around eating fancy cookies and kool- aid never the less.

Discussing our feelings of being a single mom and why it sucks. I listened as mom after mom told her sad story of why she was a single mom and how it was tough but they were overcoming it.

And all I  could think was really overcoming it? you do not have disease or a disability that you need to overcome you are raising a child.

patty happy smiled at me and I realized it was my turn. "um I have been a single mom for awhile now my daughter is 8. my husband cheated on me with a girl he met on craigslist of all places. and I was really upset and mad and betrayed but also deep inside I was relived and felt free because I just wanted to get away from him.

I pause and notice everyone staring at me in shock and wonder.

"well I really  don't feel the need to go into detail but when you are being emotionally , mentally and physically abused you will take anyway out. so I am OK being a single mom and I don't feel like I need to overcome it.

It is what it is you get off your ass you do what you have to do and you raise your child and take each day as it comes and quit feeling sorry for yourself and just be a mom single or not.

I look around the circle and most of the moms are just looking at me, Then patty happy chimes in'" well Jenn that was powerful thank you". OK ladies let's move on.

 Patty happy decides we should all mingle amongst ourselves and make friends.

O goody it's high school all over again where the popular girls all get together and ignore me or even better talk trash about me but to my amazement there is a women standing in front me.

I look at her and smile and say hi. She smiles back our as much as she can smile she has so much botox in her lips and face that at any moment I was worried her face could blow up and all over me. I tried to shake the imagen from my mind and be nice.

"Hi my name is Alexa. She extends her hand my way and all I notice as I shake her hand is the amount of jewelery she has  and how perfect her hands look.

As Alexa is talking to me I look her over and I amused, she is wearing a track suit with  her boobs hanging out and the words cougar written across her butt, she has on 2 inch heels and her hair and face are done to the nines she looks as though she is a stripper all though maybe a classy one if they have those.

I realize Alexa has stopped talking and is staring at me , she smiles "so do you like them"?

I am trying to rack my brain and think real hard if I heard anything she said but my mind fails me she then laughs the boobs what do you think I just had them done a couple days ago what do you think?

I thought many things that were not nice and felt them about to escape from my mouth when I said really there fake? no way I couldn't tell wow that must of cost a lot.

Alexa  laughed and said" honey I didn't pay for them one of my many admires did."

well it doesn't sound like you are living the hard knock life of a single mom.

She frowns at me , No of course I am I have 1 kid to take care of he is a lot of work and I work real hard and try to provide for him.

"What do you do for a living? Alexa winks at me and whisper it is not what I do honey it is who I do.

And with that I say a fake it was nice talking to you and move on to another person and that is when I am stopped by the worst kind of single mom ever!!!

The mom who thinks her shit don't stink.

She clomps over to me in her fancy heels and with each step  her heels are saying "charity case, " charity case.

She sits next to me and just stares at me, hey what's up? I smile back and" say not much."

so she Say's are you like a man hater is that why your wearing that outfit?

I stare down at my blue jeans with my tee shirt and converse and say" nope just being comfy."

I look at her outfit and realize somehow I must have missed that memo that said wear your track suit and heels and look like a 2.00 hooker.

she rolls her eyes and yawns , As if my presence is boring her. she sighs and Say's " I really don't want to be here because I am not like all you single moms you know a loser.

I didn't have a choice on becoming a single mom my husband died and left me single with three kids.

I tell her I am sorry to hear that and it must be hard.  she smirks yeah I don't get to decide if I want to be a single moms like you guys, I am about to defend myself when miss big mouth Say's but at least he was loaded so when he died I became a rich bitch.

I go to get up, She stands too. I look at her unsure of what to say.  she continues talking I just come here to get out of the house and listen to these other women's stories and then I go home feeling totally better about myself and I get a great laugh.

I decide I have finally had it with ms. stepford creepy single mommy. I turn to her and say wow you are a class act your arrogance just evaporates off of you how sad.... and I leave.

My last mommy meeting of the night was not so creepy but she was a bit  of a Debbie downer everything was depressing to her and she didn't think she could keep doing it being a single mom and all and having a life.

I assured  her things get better and that she just needed to stay positive and talk to friends or family if possible to which she respond she had no one to talk to .

I was almost going to feel bad for her when she said" hey we could be friends and hang out and you can find me on face book and we can do so many fun things and my daughter would love a new friend". As she keep talking I started envisioning scenes from single white female and said to myself  I  need to get the hell out of here.

I excused myself from Debbie downer and ran down the hall and grabbed my daughter  I could not get into my car fast enough.

Never again well I go to a single mommy group.

It was the most terrifying experience ever !!!

So tell me what kind of single mom are you??

Or have you met a single mom that just totally had you saying WTF??