Welcome to single mom land...

No one plans on becoming a single mom, There are the mothers whom instead of waiting around for

For  a guy. decide to go to sperm banks and have there child that way , Or even the moms who decide

To have a surrogate mother have a baby for them and that is there choice of course and hey more power to you!

But there is the rest of us women like me who didn't think they were going to be single mothers.

We thought we would be married and of course have kids and for lack of better wording live happily ever after.

Then you know shit happened like maybe your husband cheated on you as in my case apparently he thought the grass was greener on the other side

Or maybe the husband died, Or just plain decide he didn't want to be married anymore Even worse our the teen moms who are left to raise the kids by  themselves.

And of course when this all happens you are left wondering how in the hell your suppose to go on

I mean there is no guide on how to be a single mom ,no step by step plan of action you just really wing it and hope for the best.

My daughter was young probably 4 or 5. so not at a age were she fully understood why it was just her and I but old enough to know that daddy was gone and he didn't  live with us anymore.

Now the bitchy side of me really wanted to tell my daughter that daddy was a big jerk who thought he had found the perfect women who he had been meant to be with{On craigslist no less}

But the mature me just said what I suspect a lot of single moms say, daddy loves you very much but daddy and I agreed that we just couldn't get along so daddy went to live somewhere else.

Or you could be me I simply said to my daughter Daddy loves you but daddy did a very dumb thing and decide to be with a another girl so mommy had to tell daddy to leave.
I know I know close your mouth but really I think it was best to go the direct way with her

I didn't want her to hear lies and then when she was older be angry with me. for the most part she wasn't fazed she just said well when you are married you aren't suppose to have a girlfriend .

Yep my kid was smart, Maybe a little to wise beyond her age.


It is most of the truth! I don't want to tell her lies like daddy works a lot , or daddy and me just couldn't live together anymore,

Or so on and so on  and hey if you have said this stuff I am not judging you just saying I felt honesty was the best possible way.

My daughter is now 8. And my ex husband still is involved in her life which I am thankful for because I know that is not always the case.

And I have forgave him for the cheating and many other things that I will discuss next time because

I  figured I could be angry and really restful which trust me I was a mess for days even weeks after I found out.

But One day I just decide to let all the pint up anger and hurt go because it was just making me miserable.

It was better to just forgive him and move on I am happy he is with someone who makes him happy.

Am I OK being a single mom?

Yes and no. I like having my freedom no one to answer to ,I can do what I want when I want for the most part.


It does suck when I have to discipline my daughter there is no one for me to turn to help  me or take over when I am at my last straw.

There is no one to ask what to do when there is a big problem or a decision that seems huge and life changing.

No one to grocery shop, clean house, help with homework, or  take care of me when I get sick.

Nope I do all this by myself. Am I asking for a medal no, Am I wanting your pity no I am just pointing out that sometimes it really sucks to be a single mom.

There is good stuff of course I get to be a wonder mom as my daughter Say's. I get to hang out and have girl time all the time and really get to know who she is listen to her tell me how she feels . we are super close.

I have learned that I can be independent and do more things then I thought I could. basically I am stronger then I ever knew.

I have learned who I am and that it is OK to be alone and I have more time to focus on my daughter and do the things I like and discover new things .

But let's me honest in the back of my mind there is that horrible thought that what if I end up being alone.

What will I do if I never find love? I certainly do not need a man or even mind being single but let's face it everyone needs to feel loved.

I really hate thinking about trying to get out there and date the whole idea makes me want to crawl into a corner and become a nun.

And what if when my daughter is older she leaves and I am still single then what? I will be that old lady with a thousand dogs.[. I really hate cats]. This thought really scares me.

But for now I just try to push those thought to the back of my mind and focus on being the best mom I can be and trying to raise a 8yr daughter in this  crazy world.

Now if I could just figure out how the mom down the block seems to have it all and be the most awesome single mom in the world then I would feel a lot better about myself.

Have you meet that single mom? What you thought there was only one type of a single mom!

Well then stay tuned for blog post number 2. because you will be amazed and OK I will admitted slightly jealous.

So how do you feel about being a single mom? Don't be shy I  wont judge let me know if you can relate to my post or you think I am way off.

Thanks for reading my first post hope you enjoy and all feedback is always welcomed.