How do I not screw up my kid by dating again?

So here is the thing I would really like to start dating but I am worried about how Laylaboo

Will handle this, I mean how the hell do you explain to a 8yr old that your dating?

Do I tell her casually as we eat dinner O by the way honey I am going out tonight with

A really nice guy . Or honey while I was on my dating site I met someone and were going out.

Or should I just be like mommy needs to do adult things too....Um this just sounds gross even to

Me. I suppose I could just have said guy show up and introduced  Laylaboo and then say this

Is mommy's date I will be back soon, But that seems A Bit cruel and wired.

Well how am I suppose to do this there is no handbook that tells me how not to scar my child

By dating again I could be wrong there just might be. Maybe there is a set of rules that I am

Suppose to follow. It just seems like such a odd subject to bring up not that I haven't tired

Yesterday I thought hey this is a good time to bring up why it's OK if mommy dates clearly I

Wish someone would of stopped me here is how that conversation went, Me so Laylaboo

You know how we talked about How sometimes mommy's get lonely and need to have

Adult friends around who are sometimes guys? Laylaboo stare at me with her annoyed express

And Say's" yes Mom why are you acting so wired? I smile nervously will I was just wondering

What you would think of me dating? Would you be OK with that?  Laylaboo gives me her best

Smile but as I know this smile is the nervous one she has when something bothers her.

She rolls her eyes at me and Say's mommy this conversation is really making me feel gross and

Aren't you kinda old to be dating? Anyway I don't need a new daddy I already have one.

Yep this conversation was going in the wrong direction.

I tried to reassure Laylaboo that I was not looking for a new daddy for her and that I was just

Wanting to go out get out of the house. I could not be a single mom forever.

Will apparently This did not sit well with Laylaboo who got up so quick that you would of

Thought she had ants in her pants. She was fuming she looked right at me and said "and what

Is so wrong with being single mom?? And if you start dating who will take care of me and be

There for me? I tried really hard to understand where she was coming from but also thought to

Myself really kid I have been single since you were 4 do  you want me to be a old sad single lady

With cats? I was about to explain myself when I heard Laylaboos door slam. she may be only 8

But she had the part of angry drama teen down to a 10. I went to knock on her door to try and

Talk to her and make her understand but then I thought Nah  let her cool down.

As I sat starting at my computer screen I started over thinking ,Did I go about the

Dating topic  the right way? Should I wait until she is older? Am I being selfish? what if she

Started acting out to get my attention? Why did this all have to be so hard? Well it wasn't as if

I hated being a single mom I don't mind it but no one wants to be alone I think I have just

Quoted a nickleback song. But seriously when Laylaboo becomes a teen and I am sitting alone

At home maybe it will be to late to date or what if she leaves home then what Am I suppose to do

Sit at home feeling sorry for myself? Nope this could not happen I will not be a crazy old cat

Lady and  the way things were going lately this could very will be my future. Seriously The only

Action I have been getting is when I forget my cell is in my pocket and I have it on vibrate other

Than that I don't think my overly sexual dreams are coming true anytime soon Dammit!

Now I am not saying I am trying to date just so I can have a lot of sex let's make that clear but

Come on I need a life a little excitement something worth getting up in the morning for.

So I could just lie to Laylaboo keep it from her that I am dating or I could just tell her how it

Was going to be. well both ways may have her in therapy but god I hope not.

I knock on her door and get the angry yell of go away,  silly child you know I will not go away.

Nope I just keep knocking.  Finally grouchy 8yr old opens door. Gives me stink eye and buries

 head under pillows,  I just start talking anyway, Look I know you don't want me to date

I know you think that I am going to forgot about you or change but I am not. You will always

Be the most important person in my life no one can change that. Besides do you want me to

Turn into a scary old lady who has a bunch of cats and then I go crazy and start talking to

Myself and I wear blue eye shadow and horrible red lipstick all over my mouth and teeth is that

What you want me to become? Laylaboo peeks out from under her pillow and I see a smirk on her

Face. She lifts her head "Mommy seriously don't you think you are being a little dramatic?

OK then Austin Mahone comes to ask you out and I say NO Laylaboo I wont allow you to date

Him because you wont love me anymore or pay attention to me! What would you do? Laylaboo

Laughs and groans "Mommy first of all I am 8 so that would be gross but If I was older I

Would say sorry mommy but I am not about to miss this chance and besides I will always be

There for you no matter what no guy is going to chance that. She sighs OK mommy I get it

I guess you dating would be OK just wired .I am just worried about you I don't want you to

Get some wiredo. I smile well  I promise you I will be very careful who I pick to go out with

And I will  always let you know what is going on. Laylaboo sits up on her bed and hugs me.

So far I have not been on any dates way to me creepers have been asking me but I am hoping to

Find someone nice and I hope Laylaboo  acts OK when I go out but I am still worried

About how she will really react I just hope she doesn't turn into problem child anyone

Else remember that movie that child was awful! Movie was funny but don't need that in real 

Life. Just as I am finishing  this thought Laylaboo calls my attention I look over at her and

She is on the computer on my profile O god  I have left my dating profile open just great!

Laylaboo smiles hey mom this guy's cute and look at his car! Mom hurry ask him out before

Other girls do he is definitely a catch.  Will maybe I wont have to worry about a problem child

Just have to worry about my 8yr old trying to set me up. This should be interesting.

So have any of you online dated and if so did you have kids you had to explain it to?

How did that go? I look forward to all comments and feedback. I really appreciate everyone

Takes the time to read my blog! Thank you.






 

What my younger single self would like to say to single mommy me......new years resolutions 2014.

• 1. Get your hair out of the damn pony tail you look good with your hair down. And while were

 on the subject of hair would it kill you to buy a box of hair color and color your hair!

2. Quite being broke your not in your 20's you are 37 that means time to figure out how to save

Money and get your shit together!

3.Quite complaining about life and Do something about it make a change, do what scares you as Nike

Says JUST DO!!!!!!!!!

4.Stop worrying about the way you look and just be glad your alive, Stop starting in the mirror

Picking yourself apart and find what is awesome about yourself. No one is perfect not even a

Victoria secret model it may not look it but even they have flaws for reals!!!!

5. This goes with 4, but seriously quite using your daughter's profile pic and put a freaking profile pic

Already if people don't like the way you look screw them ....


6. While twitter, Face book, and pinterest and blogging are awesome they do not need to control your

Life and should not be your weekend fun GET A LIFE!!!!

7.Weekends are fun and relaxing but that does not mean every weekend sit around in your pj's

Watching red box movies do you really wanna be a old crazy cat lady??? Seriously this is where your
headed!!!

8.Find a cute guy anywhere dammit and go on date.....there are cute boys everywhere really....

9.take off your stupid jackets you wear I know you are always cold but how are you suppose to show

Off your cute clothes if all anyone sees is stupid jacket.

10.Be a better friend hang out with my friends more often keep in touch it is not that hard.

11.Yes we get it you don't mind being a single mommy great for you but that does not mean your life

Needs to resolve around Laylaboo for god sake your 8yr old has more of a social life then you!!

12. While were on the topic of being a single mom your house does not need to be kiddie central you

Have got to get some grow up people at your house please!! Knowing more about 8-9 yr olds life is sad.:(

13.while we know you are border line OCD would you stop cleaning your house let your house be a

Little messy it is OK too much cleaning will make you go crazy there is studies about this and if there

Isn't there should be cleaning should not be the highlight of your life.

14.Instead of getting mad or annoyed that my blog seems to be going nowhere do something about it

Promote it , promote it and make people want to read it in 2014 make it talked about.

15.let go of regrets, anger, and stop thinking you need to be a different person and just be the best

Damn you be loud be heard and be who you were meant to be!

16.stop sleeping life away.. stop wishing you were younger, stop asking what if , stop the negative

Thoughts and most important stop wishing you could do life over and life this life make it count!

17. Last thought smile more, have fun, stop stressing and werk 2014 like a bitch.


2014 READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GOING TO TRY AND CHANNEL MY

INNER SINGLE GIRL JENN AND TURNT UP 2014..... AND I PROMISE I AM

WORKING ON A PROFILE PIC. MUCH LOVE AND APPRECIATION TO EVERYONE WHO

READS WHAT I WRITE , CAN RELATE TO WHAT I SAY, OR JUST REALLY NEEDS A

LAUGH. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING MY BLOG IT MEANS A LOT.

SEE YOU IN 2014.

The hassel of christmas shopping when your a single mom.

Alright stop rolling your eyes and hear me out first please.

I generally love Christmas time but it is damn near impossible for me to shop for Christmas

Gifts with laylaboo in tow, Sometimes she is able to stay with friends and or she is at school

And I get off work early and can go shopping. But usually I have to bring her along which is

Fine just extra work having to be creative. I usually have her stand on the next aisle over and

wait while I pick out a gift, but even then it becomes a matter of which monster high  doll was

It she wanted? Does she really need this ? As she is getting older she plays less

And does more crafts so it makes shopping a little more hard and having to be creative.

You should see the looks I get when I throw my jacket and whatever else I can find over

The stuff I have in my cart. You would think I was shoplifting.. But come on what else am I

going to do so Laylaboo doesn't see her stuff. I almost died when on one aisle I was covering

The monster high dolls up with my coat and making sure Laylaboo wouldn't figure out what

They were when this lady came up to me and said Honey crime is a life for no one you wont

Get very fair shoplifting . And besides those dolls are no gift any child should be getting there from the devil.

 I smiled my best smile and said I realize that but these damn

Monster High dolls they keep telling me to come back here and please take them home

But sometimes I just don't have the money but they scare me and say please bring us home with

You so I just don't know what to do ? They drive me crazy!! You understand don't you? The

Look of pure horror on her face was so hilarious she just stood there with her mouth wide open

Then she shook her head and said Honey I really Hope you get help It's people like you who

Make this world unsafe. I'll show her unsafe I wish I could of took a monster high doll out of

The box and made It "say please come back we really want to be your friend". lol....The look

On her face I bet would have been priceless. I can't stand nosy people.

Anyway I called Laylaboo over and we headed to the  register I usually make her go

Somewhere close enough I can keep a eye on her but not where she can see what I am

Buying. This particular shopping trip I was At my favorite store target so I just had her

Go to the dollar  section and wait for me. I patiently waited as the cashier rang me up and

Kinda panicked as I watched my total go up but was relived when all the 5.00 target cards I

Saved up all year only left me paying 5.00 bucks in cash yeah! Now It was time for me to go on

the hunt for  the last two must  have Christmas gifts for laylaboo was a mp3 player and Austin 

Mahone anything. The problem with this was that number 1. Austin Mahone was a up and

coming singer which meant he was getting really popular but were not talking popular like

Justin Bieber you know what I mean you mention his name and the fan girls start crying and

Hyperventilating . You go in any store you find Jb. stuff you go looking for Austin mahone and

Have to do some searching,I did find some stuff in Claire's but everything was overpriced and

I also found some stuff on amazon but I am still on the hunt for more things.

She needed a Ipod. Not a mp3 player ,She didn't even know what the difference was she just

 wanted a Ipod Because her friends had one. also a  problem I needed  to save up money to 

Download all the songs she would ask for. I also needed to find one in my budget and not

 A ghetto looking one either, Or a pink one she really despise the color pink.

Do you know How many pink ones I have come across??? her favorite color is green  I can find

Pink and red and blue but no green. so frustrating. I have been to many stores and found many

mp3 players they are either to expensive , screen to small, no screen at all, or they are brands

That I have never heard of and know nothing about.

 . On to problem #2. Austin mahone is a up and coming

Singer so this means that yes he is popular but we are not talking Justin bieber popular...

You know total chaos and you say his name and a thousand fan girls start crying and

Hyperventilating . I searched high and low seriously...I manage to find some things at Claire's

Can you say overpriced. I found some stuff on amazon...I am still searching.

And never go into to a best buy when there is only immature snarky zit face teenager boys

Working and try and ask if they have any Austin Mahone stuff. You will only get snarky

Dumb ass comments some of which may be my Favorite one today "Aren't you kinda old to be

Listen to him?". To which I replied it's for my daughter but even if it was for me who the hell

Are you to assume how old I am and to imply I can't listen to someone because there a teen?

Snarky teenager employee decided it was best to have someone help me before I chewed him up and spit

Him back out. Even better Dumb Ass number #2 who had no idea who I was talking about.

He just keep saying is he  like a second coming of Justin Bieber? I smirked . Um yeah I guess you could say that.

 All I want to know is if you guys have anything Austin Mahone! Dumb ass #2

Just stands there I felt like I needed to  start belting out a Austin mahone

Song or doing a dance from his video Which I am not ashamed to say that I do know all of his

Songs I am mom Fan so what. Anyway I just left I could not take it anymore.

My  mp3 shopping was even more horrifying. After I told laylaboo to wait a aisle over from the

Mp3 players I asked bored teen boy at Toys R us if he could help me out. I whispered what I was

Looking for so Laylaboo wouldn't hear. and asked his opinion on them since I had really no 

Idea what I was looking for or really much about mp3 players.  I let him know it was for a

 

8yr old So I didn't want anything to expensive just simple but not cheap either.

He was really helpful maybe to helpful because apparently I had given off the vibe that as a

Single mom I was needing to be seduced. He was to close to me and really needed to stop

Touching my arm.  He made wired jokes and asked me what kind of music I was into and did

I know that I could buy a shower proof protector for the mp3 player so I could dance in the

Shower.....Ummm Yeah I was making that face too.....ewwee just retyping it makes me sick.

I did a horrified face and said thanks and found laylaboo and left fast O' and sanitized my arm.

I Went to what felt like a thousand stores searching just for  a simple mp3 player.

It should not be this hard to find one I don't think? I am still searching with only 9 days

Left until Christmas. And If one more sales person tells me I should just buy a Ipod

 I am going to scream. I know a Ipod is better but they are way expensive and she is 8.

She does not get one if I don't have one..lol.

I knew Laylaboo was probably getting really tired and I still had to take her to the mall She

Wanted to buy me a Christmas gift she had only 8.00 But wanted to get me something really

Nice The problem with her wanting to Christmas shop  for me was that 1. she never had much

Money. and 2.as hard as she tried to hide it I always saw what she was getting because I couldn't

Let her go off by herself to far. So this year I took her to the mall. She picked Victoria secret

Which I love but we all know can be expensive. I gave her 20.00 to help her out and let Laylaboo

Know the stuff I liked the scents I preferred and so on . I was going to just look around while

She got my gift But she really wanted to be a big girl and do it herself . So I noticed there was

A young girl just standing around so I explained to her that Laylaboo was Christmas shopping

For me and didn't want me to see and could she helped her out while I waited outside the store.

You should of seen the look on the girls face. You would of thought I said something horrible

She Looked at me and said are you serious? I smiled back and said yes, she is a customer isn't

That your job to assist her? She still just stood there. I got right in her face I am not asking you

To babysit her I am asking you to help her pick me something out so I don't see it , Is that to

Much to ask of you? I looked around the store that was pretty empty and said you don't seem to be,

Busy so could you just do a nice thing and help her out . The sales girl gave me a half smile and

said fine. I waited outside the doors for a few minutes. Laylaboo came bouncing out of the store

With a big pink box and proudly said I spent 28.00!! The Sales lady said why not spoil your

Mommy. Well played Victoria secret sales girl.. But I still left behind a comment card that

Awaits your boss so we are even:)

I guess  I cannot complain to much I don't have to buy any other presents then Laylaboos I

Do stress over money but try to save as much as possible to make ends meet. It is just the stress

Of having to figure out ways to buy presents with her around and the snarky sales people

And other peoples comments that irk me . I hate when people say get a babysitter then go

Shopping that would mean I have to save up money for the babysitter and who knows how long

I would be gone and how much I would have to pay. I always manage to figure it out every year.

Would Life be easier if I wasn't a single Mom of course it would . But in the end being a single

Mom does not define me as a person I t just makes me stronger and able to handle tough

Situations and even snarky sales people.

Besides If I wasn't a single mom I wouldn't have awesome adventures and even better blogs to

Blog about and I especially wouldn't have Snarky employees to make there life fun and regret

That they came to work that day, Just kidding....um maybe a little.